As I guess most of you understand by now, this relationship I had with A, this "trying-to-be-friends-but-we're-still-something-more"-relationship, didn't work. 'Cause it hurt me so bad, and I couldn't stop thinking about C, her girlfirend. What if she knew that we still met? I knew that A didn't tell her that we did, 'cause she didn't want to fight (apparently a lot of their fights were about me), but then one day, I got a call from A, at class. And she hadn't called me since before she got together with C, it was one of those habits that just ran away in the sand (one of the things that brought us closer disappeared, it is, actually, kind of lofical, so I walked out of class and answered directly. And when I did that I heard that she was crying, and she mumbled something about C, and then, after a long time I understood: C had ended it. She had broke them up. Somehow the thought of that didn't make me as happy as I thought that it would. I'd dreamt about this day ever since they got together 6 weeks ago, but when it finally happened, I was paralyzed, I didn't know what to do, or what to think. A wanted to meet me, tonight, and I agreed to it, she was so sad and if she wanted to meet me then fine, I could do that. Then, after we hung up, I realised why I wasn't as happy as I was supposed to be, and no, it wasn't 'cause A was so sad, it was 'cause C dumped her, and not the other way around.

I wanted it to have been A who dumped C, for me, because she loved me.