Two days after that horrible night, A texted me and begged me to see her. And so I did. She came home to me, and we watched The L word. We sat in my bed, with a distance that was about one meter, but felt like 20 miles. I didn't focus at the episode, all I could think of was A, and that she was here, near me, and I wasn't aloud to touch her. It took a lot of will-power to not burst out in tears then and there. We joked around, and she mentioned her name, C. She spoke about their relationship, and their problems. I smiled, but still seemed conserned, I tried to help without being judgmental. Did she even think, of the pain that caused me? I gave up my own happiness so that she could be happy.

After she'd went home, I received a text from her: "It wasn't that scary to meet me, right?" I answered, truthfully (it hadn't been scary, just painfull): "haha, no, not at all." She answered quickly: "It was just a bit hard, I just wanted to hug you all the time :P " I laughed. "Same here." "Why didn't you then?" I bit my lip. "'Cause then everything would become so much harder. Why didn't you?" "Same." I didn't answer that, and then, just before I was going to bed: "It's so fucked up that I still like you, even though I'm with C. Haha. I'm not fair." I answered: "No you're not :P " "I know, I got a girlfriend who I happen to love and still I'm hanging around with you? This is so not good for me. W/e, good nigh <3"

I couldn't sleep at all that night. So she still liked me. How did she dare tell me that?